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Breakups & Relationship Articles -
Enjoy these articles, all intended to help you get over a breakup and feel
better today!
Share Your Divorce
In most marriages there is a higher wage
earner that has the main responsibilities of the money and a lower wage earner
that has the main responsibilities of the children. It’s a sharing of
the household. When it comes to a divorce, the higher wage earner has the
most control, which gives them financial advantages. But they also feel they
have the most to lose. The lower wage earner does not have any financial
control, so they don’t have any financial advantages. But they have
the most to gain.
This is because of the equalization process.
They must fill out a financial disclosure, which takes into account everything
the spouse’s earn and owe separately. When adding it up, if one spouse
has a higher dollar value, that amount get split between the two of
them.
This is the reason why some higher income
earners hide assets. At this point they feel they earned this money and the
other spouse is not entitled to it. But the law states otherwise so they
are exceptionally creative depending on the assets and money involved. They
will resort to numerable tactics to keep what they feel is “theirs”.
The financial disclosure just might be “missing” a few figures,
a few assets.
The other spouse has to be equally creative
to counter attempts to “hide” assets and money. If the higher income
earner initiated the divorce they have had the extra time that the other
spouse didn’t know about. This time was surely put to “creative”
use. While it is possible to uncover these hidden assets and money it will
definitely take work on the part of the other spouse.
On the other hand, the lower wage earner
is usually primary caretaker for the children. This spouse is the most likely
to get either custody or primary custody. The law states the time should
be shared between the parents. At this point this spouse feels that they
have devoted all of their time and energy to the children and the other is
not entitled to them. As devious as one spouse is about access to the money
is as devious as the other spouse is about access to the
children.
This dance can go on forever. The main
verbal exchange is “do what I say and I will give you money” or
“do what I say and I will let you see the children:” Both want
control of the divorce, both want to win. No one wins.
The courts will only try and control
the situation if the case is presented in court. This involves more legal
fees and court costs which the spouses either don’t have or don’t
want to spend. They also don’t want to take the chance of losing control
over their half of the situation.
The lower wage earner has to appreciate
that in order for the higher wage earner to earn that money they had to make
sacrifices. These sacrifices include not being able to be around as often
for the children. They deserve fair share of time with the children. The
higher wage earner has to appreciate that the lower wage earner has made
sacrifices that include earning less income in order to raise their wonderful
children. They deserve fair share of assets and money.
When looked at this way, perhaps they
can understand the other person’s point of view. Hopefully they will
then realize that each spouse has made a valuable contribution to the marriage.
Control will not solve their problem. Neither will lawyers or courts. So
what will?
A basic lesson that all parents teach
their children.
Sharing!
Liz Wertman /
"Divorce Strategy for Men and Women" is an insider's
view on legal, financial, tax and personal issues. You won't get a second
chance!
http://www.divorcewell.com
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To
Love Yourself!
"IT IS REWARDING
to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening
to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is
indispensable to view yourself as acceptable. It is a delight to discover
people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital
to believe yourself deserving of these things. For you cannot live in someone
else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life
by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the
only one you will never leave or lose. To the question of your life, you
are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only
solution."
~JO COUDERT , American writer
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